Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize