____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
