You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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