Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nutella sex= disaster
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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