If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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