so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
