he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
