sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
