Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He? As in you personified your dick?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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