he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
even my farts smell like vagina
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
