Quick, to the slutcave!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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