I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
