listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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