Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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