he shaved USA in his pubs
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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