Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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