Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
