Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
someone threw a dead crab at me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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