me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize