Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
