the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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