Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize