Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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