i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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