All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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