I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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