Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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