I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
