Swine flu is the new snow day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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