His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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