My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
