bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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