I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
