I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize