girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
