guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
