Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
