you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
we're so committed to being not committed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
