got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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