He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
