Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
