scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well you can't waste a boner
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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