Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
