So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
