What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
