porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
