Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
