I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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