and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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