he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
how drunk are you?
Several
Never underestimate the power of titties
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
