When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
