no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
