HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
