I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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