i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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