i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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