16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
