When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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