he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
